Ever since I got a poster of the original G1 Transformers back-of-the-box artwork in my office, I’ve been staring at it a lot. And I’ve started seeing things in this forty-year old artwork that I never noticed before.
Optimus Prime’s Detached Leg
Let’s look at a detail on Optimus from Botch The Crab’s version of the G1 box art as you see more of him.
The left leg seems fine considering the sharp perspective angle, but just where exactly does his right leg connect to his body? Going by the perspective his hip should be somewhere behind him.
The actual toy and the front box art have the legs set more to the rear but the battle box art makes it look completely detached. Unless his legs are super short and has a giant beer gut?
Everything Wrong With Prime’s Giant Noggin
- He’s got baby head-body proportions. His head is bigger than a boob window. It’s taller and wider than his grill abs. It’s probably got its own gravity and will absorb everything in its vicinity.
- He’s got only one antenna ear.
- His face mask goes directly straight down into his robot jacket, making appear less like a mask and more like he’s pulled his turtleneck sweater collar up over his face.
- The eyes are cool though. Nice touch, no notes.
But what is this thing???
It took me a minute to figure out that this is actually a reflection of Prime’s helmet off his shiny chrome turtleneck.
Starscream is Broken
This bot has no hips, pelvis, or crotch. Just two legs jutting straight out from his lower abdomen. Thank goodness he’s got shin thrusters because this boy ain’t walking.
He’s got wings coming out of his shoulders and arms coming out the side of his… side boobs?
One arm is much shorter than the other and seems to be missing an elbow.
I Don’t Know What Bumblebee Expects To Achieve With No Hands
He’s got no guns or elbows or the ability to make a fist but that won’t stop him. He’s going in rubber tires first and ask questions later.
His arms are like he’s flying around going “cha-cha-chaaa!”
Everybody’s Hands Are Ribbed (for her pleasure?)
Sure, they need to show segments on the flexible parts of the hands and fingers on these robots but it’s like everybody’s going alpine skiing after the fight.
Optimus Prime’s Poor Trigger Discipline
He’s got his index finger pressing hard on the trigger, with his thumb holding it tight. I wouldn’t want to be a friendly around this guy.
Then again, his weapon isn’t firing. Maybe it’s jammed. Maybe it’s out of power. Maybe the reason Autobots have such a hard time against Decepticons is because they’re terrible at maintaining their equipment.
Nobody’s Shooting At Anything
This is a scene depicting an intense battle between Autobots and Decepticons yet nobody’s shooting at anything in particular.
Here I’ve traced the firing lines going from the bots closest to the foreground.
Are all the immediate threats past the edges of the image? Is everybody near sighted? Optimus seems unconcerned about Starscream firing in his general direction.
Maybe that’s because Starscream’s pistol shoots crooked.
(orange follows the gun barrel, green follows the laser beam)
But there are explosions going on so obviously something is getting hit. Lucky shots? Bots colliding into each other because they’re just wildly flying around half-blind? Someone just loves fireworks?
They’re Almost, But Not Quite, Drawn Relatively Accurate to the Toys
Aside from a few artistic flourishes (giant frigging heads and critical lack of hips) the toys are depicted pretty accurately. So accurate, Jazz is painted with his feet mis-transformed.
His leggy footy flappy flaps are down. No idea where he got his horn face, though.
However I do like how Sunstreaker was rendered, even if he’s a bit less toy accurate. They kept the wheel armpits which makes his Superman flying pose look like his arms are broken.
For some reason the his car roof goes all the way down to his knees.
Even the toy didn’t have it that low, merely wearing it like an untucked shirt.
Trailbreaker’s truck mode looks correct-ish
but somehow his robot mode got flattened and his body is the entire length of the cab.
Does he have wheels on his wrists or are his arms really that thin and puny?
Megatron seems based on the original Japanese prototype design, but even more simplified with a shorter fusion cannon and no back gun barrel. The color scheme is much bluer but that might be just the “lighting” of the scene. I wonder how early the art was done compared to when the toyline was finalized.
Very early designs of Megatron
Of course we’re completely ignoring the fact that Megatron, the baddest of the bad guys isn’t even front and center on the image.
But The Weapons Are All Wrong
While the figures themselves look relatively accurate to their toys, barely anybody’s weapons look like their actual accessories. Maybe they were unavailable at the time?
Reworking the shoulder cannons on Sunstreaker’s shoulders is pretty cool, actually. That should’ve become (ahem) canon.
For everything else, however, it’s very odd. The original toys have cool-ass chrome armaments but here they’re replaced with very generic looking guns.
Ah yes, everybody remembers Starscream’s iconic laser pistol.
Sideswipe and Jazz came to the party underdressed. Having a big honkin’ shoulder missile launcher might help in a space battle, you know. Just sayin’.
Maybe both of Prime’s Ion Cannons were in the shop?
Cylinders are too boring so Soundwave’s shoulder cannon needed sprucing up.
The guns don’t seem to weigh very much, Soundwave going akimbo here with ease. One gun looks suspiciously inspired by Laserbeak, the other looks like he put the missile backwards.
Prowl’s got an axe? A microphone? Whatever it is, it’s coming out of his knuckles. It doesn’t hold a candle to the original sleek design.
Trailbreaker doesn’t need guns when his original toy can throw down missile hands.
And finally, I can abide clones but not copy cats.
I can understand that there was a time when the Transformers fiction wasn’t developed yet so I can easily accept marketing coming up with a scenario where thousands of clones are locked in a giant space battle. It’s for the box art, they want to convince kids to buy the toy, and the rule of cool applies. It’s evident that there was a ton of work put into the piece to make every robot unique, even in the far background. So it’s kinda odd seeing a slightly resized copy of a character right next to itself.
In universe I like to think the Ravage on the right is in over his head and is just freaking out, not having any idea what to do. So he just mimics the closest guy next to him. Ravage on the left seems to have a good grasp of the fundamentals: a) bare sharp teeth b) hold a pounce pose, and c) kill Autobots.
If ever I suddenly found myself as a flying cassette cat in the middle of a robot space war I’d follow that guy too.